As established in the first post, my parents are now known as Frank and Marie, from "Everybody Loves Raymond" The similarities go far deeper than a love of marinara.
First, my parents. Frank, big loud, slightly crass, but mostly sweet. Marie, well, she's Marie, with less hairspray and more Talbots twinsets. Fat Rock is Raymond, even though he married into the family. Much loved, funny, at times the "favored son" (in law). I'm Debra. A little tightly wound, desperately trying to keep the squabbling to a minimum. And oh yes, there is squabbling. Loud outbursts, bickering and force feeding of pasta are not uncommon in the Barone household. Like I said, the similarities run deep.
Last, but not least, is Robert. Dear, sweet, tall, deep voiced, officer Robert. My baby brother. God help him, the description fits him to a tee. The tallest Barone, out sized only by Fat Rock. He is also a police officer, and is moving up the ranks quickly. Until recently, and I mean VERY recently, Robert still lived with Frank and Marie, in his childhood bedroom, dinosaur wallpaper and all. Although this did save him lots of money, both in rent and not unsubstantial food bills, this did lead to one shortage.
Women.
As can be expected, this weighed heavily on Robert. Not so heavy that he, you know, MOVED OUT or anything, but heavy. Oddly, the ladies weren't knocking down the door to spend long romantic evenings under the Superman sheets. But it's not like he didn't try. Before Fat Rock and I were married, he and Robert decided to start eharmony pages. Fat Rock got 50+ matches (sorry ladies!) but Robert, after the 2 week trial, wound up with zero. The odds improved when Fat Rock "improved" (i.e. fabricated) Robert's page.
The ladies were now interested in meeting a man who "liked reading" (comic books), was "into physical fitness" (riding his bike at work, inside) and "loved classic movies" (mostly early Jack Black). A mention of his obsession with video games was conspicuously absent. With the women biting, Robert decided the time was right for his own love shack.
And what a shack it is! A lovely apartment on a golf course, right in the middle of the marinara zone. He even bought new sheets. The only negatives are that the sheets no longer seem to clean themselves, and the magic noodle pot no longer fills itself with spaghetti. Since the big move about 1 year ago, his dating life has taken off. Robert is currently back on the market, so if you are a single woman 24-30 who likes cartoons, beer, and video games, have I got the man for you!
First, my parents. Frank, big loud, slightly crass, but mostly sweet. Marie, well, she's Marie, with less hairspray and more Talbots twinsets. Fat Rock is Raymond, even though he married into the family. Much loved, funny, at times the "favored son" (in law). I'm Debra. A little tightly wound, desperately trying to keep the squabbling to a minimum. And oh yes, there is squabbling. Loud outbursts, bickering and force feeding of pasta are not uncommon in the Barone household. Like I said, the similarities run deep.
Last, but not least, is Robert. Dear, sweet, tall, deep voiced, officer Robert. My baby brother. God help him, the description fits him to a tee. The tallest Barone, out sized only by Fat Rock. He is also a police officer, and is moving up the ranks quickly. Until recently, and I mean VERY recently, Robert still lived with Frank and Marie, in his childhood bedroom, dinosaur wallpaper and all. Although this did save him lots of money, both in rent and not unsubstantial food bills, this did lead to one shortage.
Women.
As can be expected, this weighed heavily on Robert. Not so heavy that he, you know, MOVED OUT or anything, but heavy. Oddly, the ladies weren't knocking down the door to spend long romantic evenings under the Superman sheets. But it's not like he didn't try. Before Fat Rock and I were married, he and Robert decided to start eharmony pages. Fat Rock got 50+ matches (sorry ladies!) but Robert, after the 2 week trial, wound up with zero. The odds improved when Fat Rock "improved" (i.e. fabricated) Robert's page.
The ladies were now interested in meeting a man who "liked reading" (comic books), was "into physical fitness" (riding his bike at work, inside) and "loved classic movies" (mostly early Jack Black). A mention of his obsession with video games was conspicuously absent. With the women biting, Robert decided the time was right for his own love shack.
And what a shack it is! A lovely apartment on a golf course, right in the middle of the marinara zone. He even bought new sheets. The only negatives are that the sheets no longer seem to clean themselves, and the magic noodle pot no longer fills itself with spaghetti. Since the big move about 1 year ago, his dating life has taken off. Robert is currently back on the market, so if you are a single woman 24-30 who likes cartoons, beer, and video games, have I got the man for you!
Lemur Queen
1 comment:
OMG! You two crack me up! Maybe I appreciate more b/c I know your family, but I love it!
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