Ok, let's get this off my chest first and foremost: I'm called Fat Rock for a reason. I am a heavy guy. I weigh over 250 lbs, and it's not muscle. That aside, I don't think I'm looking forward to "More to Love", coming out this week on Fox. The premise of the show is that the "Real Women of America" are not skinny and thin and models like most reality show women, and they need love too.
Normal people, needing love? What a novel idea! They already tried that, didn't they? Average Joe was supposed to be a show featuring average guys all competing for the hand of some beauty queen. Yeah, they touted that the whole purpose of the show was that TRUE beauty was more than just skin deep and that the bevy of guys they lined up were desirable men. That worked great until halfway through the show, when they brought out a bunch of vapid himbos (Himbbo: Male Bimbo) to try out for the lady. Guess who the lady chose? The hot guy. So, they aired a second season, taped during the same time as the first so as not to skew the results. Guess what happened with that one? Yep, hot guy won. Average guy lost. Only on season 3, when the girl involved already knew what the show was about, did the average guy "win".
So what's going to happen here? A gaggle of plus-sized women who have been told they're going to find their dream man are going to show up. Then they compete for the guy. But during the show there's going to be a makeover portion. So, even on a show where they are supposedly celebrating the average woman, Fox is going to tell them they aren't pretty enough or thin enough and so we're going to make you better. Who knows, maybe halfway through the competition a bunch of models will come in and compete for the guy. If that happens, I'd put money down that the "average" girl's gonna lose. Why? Because in real life, real beauty counts, but on reality TV, it's all about looks. And they're full of crap if they say otherwise.
I'm not happy, as it seems that a mixed message is being sent out regarding body image and type. And they're being patronizing as hell while they're doing it.
I know I'm no George Clooney. Part of the reason why I can do all the crap I can, is because I learned it to increase my attractiveness. And I couldn't afford plastic surgery and lipo. Know what? It worked. "Inner Beauty" won out and I am married to a great woman. She even thinks I'm cute. I'm sure that opinion has been helped by the fact that I can cook, clean, sew, do minor home and automotive repairs, paint, decorate, can dress and am good with animals and children.
Also, my study of martial arts has enabled me to give bitchin' massages.
Ok, I've worked off enough steam. I feel better.
Fat Rock.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
A belated thanks
This weekend was the 16th Annual Dilli Dash, set up as a benefit to the crew of the USCG Diligence. A bunch of really fit people show up and run and the proceeds benefit the officers and crew of the ship. Not entirely sure HOW it benefits them, but we're a pro-military family here, so we go anyways.
In our town, there is a farmer's market which starts at around 8. The Dilli Dash also starts at around 8. So, traffic is blocked off and the farmers can't get to their stalls because of the race. Most of the sellers are cool with it. Some are hippies and don't like the armed forces, but they're also usually pacifists and won't do anything about it. Then there's the Tarheel Beef guy.
Asshole.
Last year at the Dilli Dash the slow runners were being plagued by this guy. When a race starts, the slow people line up in the back so they won't hold up the fast folks. It's common courtesy. So when the race starts, the walkers, the stroller pushers, and the fatties are always in the back and not moving too fast. Last year as soon as the race started the barricades where lifted and the cars were allowed to follow the racers up to their stalls. The Tarheel Beef Guy was in front of the line, and RIDING THE ASSES of the fatties. He was also leaning out his truck window and yelling. Also, honking the horn. Jackass. It's not like the fat guys don't know they're slow. They're doing the best they can. The Beef Guy is a fattie too, so he should understand. But he didn't. So he followed the slow people, honked, yelled, and tailgated them all the way to his assigned stall.
The Coast Guardsmen noticed this. Kinda hard not to. Fast forward to the next race, about 2 weeks after the '08 Dilli Dash. The racers are all lined up. The farmers market vendors are lined up all behind them. Fatties are in the back. Tarheel Beef Jackass is in the front of the vendor convoy. About 5 mins before the race starts a bunch of Coasties start forming up at the rear of the race. They form up, about 4 men wide and 6 deep. Not a large formation.
Then the race starts. The fast people take off. The pack of average runners ambles off. The Coasties don't move. The Fatties, Walkers, and Stroller Pushers move out, making a slow exit from the starting area. The Coasties start a very slow walk. Very Slow. Behind everyone. The barricades lift, and the vendors vehicles start towards their stalls. In the very front once again is the Tarheel Beef Jackass. As soon as the barricades are lifted he moves quickly to get right up the butt of the slow runners.
But this time something different happens. There are 20 or so very fit men moving oh-so-slowly up the street. In formation. Blocking his path. The Tarheel Beef Jackass rolls down his window and starts fussing loudly the the Coast Guardsmen. The Coasties, still moving slowly up the street, turn and give the stink eye to the Tarheel Beef guy. The Tarheel Beef Jackass, winces, reconsiders being an asshole for the day, and promptly rolls up his window and shuts the hell up.
So, this problem didn't happen this year, but I wanted to make sure that the Coasties got some recognition for last year. Even though I'm not a runner, I appreciate you guys protecting the slow ones from bullies.
Thank you.
Fat Rock.
In our town, there is a farmer's market which starts at around 8. The Dilli Dash also starts at around 8. So, traffic is blocked off and the farmers can't get to their stalls because of the race. Most of the sellers are cool with it. Some are hippies and don't like the armed forces, but they're also usually pacifists and won't do anything about it. Then there's the Tarheel Beef guy.
Asshole.
Last year at the Dilli Dash the slow runners were being plagued by this guy. When a race starts, the slow people line up in the back so they won't hold up the fast folks. It's common courtesy. So when the race starts, the walkers, the stroller pushers, and the fatties are always in the back and not moving too fast. Last year as soon as the race started the barricades where lifted and the cars were allowed to follow the racers up to their stalls. The Tarheel Beef Guy was in front of the line, and RIDING THE ASSES of the fatties. He was also leaning out his truck window and yelling. Also, honking the horn. Jackass. It's not like the fat guys don't know they're slow. They're doing the best they can. The Beef Guy is a fattie too, so he should understand. But he didn't. So he followed the slow people, honked, yelled, and tailgated them all the way to his assigned stall.
The Coast Guardsmen noticed this. Kinda hard not to. Fast forward to the next race, about 2 weeks after the '08 Dilli Dash. The racers are all lined up. The farmers market vendors are lined up all behind them. Fatties are in the back. Tarheel Beef Jackass is in the front of the vendor convoy. About 5 mins before the race starts a bunch of Coasties start forming up at the rear of the race. They form up, about 4 men wide and 6 deep. Not a large formation.
Then the race starts. The fast people take off. The pack of average runners ambles off. The Coasties don't move. The Fatties, Walkers, and Stroller Pushers move out, making a slow exit from the starting area. The Coasties start a very slow walk. Very Slow. Behind everyone. The barricades lift, and the vendors vehicles start towards their stalls. In the very front once again is the Tarheel Beef Jackass. As soon as the barricades are lifted he moves quickly to get right up the butt of the slow runners.
But this time something different happens. There are 20 or so very fit men moving oh-so-slowly up the street. In formation. Blocking his path. The Tarheel Beef Jackass rolls down his window and starts fussing loudly the the Coast Guardsmen. The Coasties, still moving slowly up the street, turn and give the stink eye to the Tarheel Beef guy. The Tarheel Beef Jackass, winces, reconsiders being an asshole for the day, and promptly rolls up his window and shuts the hell up.
So, this problem didn't happen this year, but I wanted to make sure that the Coasties got some recognition for last year. Even though I'm not a runner, I appreciate you guys protecting the slow ones from bullies.
Thank you.
Fat Rock.
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