The Goblins are going BACK!

This is in part a happy post, and partly a sad post. This is happy because it's back to school time, and parents are getting a break. This is also a happy time because the college students are going back to school, and the quality of strippers at the local clubs will be improving drastically. Please note: I was told this by Rod "the Bod" at work, whose encyclopedic knowledge of the proffession of stripping, pornogarphy, and adult entertainers is legendary. I don't know this personally. I'm originally from Fayetteville, where the strippers are the same all year around. Seriously, Lemur Queen would tear off my twig and berries if I came home from a strip club.

But it's also a sad post because the traffic situation in our town is about to get a lot more screwed up. Yep! School Busses! And of course the parents who can't let their Precious Little Darlings (PLDs) ride the big nasty bus and must drive them to school personally. If you go to a private school and have no bus service, you are excluded from that comment. The bus drivers in my town are good. They don't abuse the power of the stop sign, and try to move a decent speeds. They will, by and large, allow people to pass them. My problem is with the traffic cops. One traffic cop. The Midget Deputy. The Midget Deputy works the traffic beat at the local elementary school that is on a busy 4 lane road with a grassy median. This 4 lane road is an artery for people who have to work downtown (me), and in the mornings the north-bound lanes are packed with workers and soccer moms transporting their PLDs in massive ass SUVs (Lady, you have one freaking kid, WHY do you need to have an Expedition Extended Edition Widebody? Crap, that thing is a tank.......and keep it in one lane, PLEASE!) The Sounthbound lane is clear and open, but has a left turn lane into the Elementary School. Enter the Midget Deputy. He can't see over his car, but he directs traffic like wee tiny iron fist. He constantly stops traffic on the northbound lane for almost no reason. One car in the turn lane? STOP ALL NORTHBOUND TRAFFIC! Turn lane empty but you see a bus coming half a mile away that might need to turn into the school? STOP ALL NORTHBOUND TRAFFIC! This little Napoleon will have traffic backed up for 3 miles. It seems he has it out for anyone wanting to drive into town. Like some woman who drove north on this road broke his heart once and now he has sworn vengeance on all northbound traffic. So, if you see a tiny man shaking his fist randomly at north moving traffic, it's him. Throw fruit. He likes it.