Food Fight

In many ways, Fat Rock and I are ying and yang. There's gender, of course, and religious upbringing, and relative volumes of our households (Fat Rock 4, Lemur Queen 10), but the largest difference may be diet. This has afforded us the opportunity to expand our culinary horizons. It has also brought to light that what you think is perfictly normal, delicious food, is, in fact, crap.

First, an admission. Fat Rock does >90% of our household cooking. This is a wonderful declaration of love, and a way to ensure that Fat Rock does not begin gnawing on my shoulder "Alive" style. It's not that I CAN'T cook, it's just that my cooking fits into 3 major categories.

1) Slow food: sauces from scratch, lasagna, homemade bread. Yummy, but time consuming. Not practical for daily food needs.

2) Microwaved food: popcorn, Lean Cuisine, frozen veggies. Fast, delicious, and a one way ticket to protein starvation, according to my husband.

3) Salad and a Bagel: my main source of sustenance while in college. For more details, ask Magnolia Belle.

So Fat Rock cooks. and he cooks the HELL out of most foods. BBQ chicken pizza, Asian chicken salad, potato soup. The man doesn't even need a recipe. He has already introduced me to several new food groups. Such as:

maple cured bacon
pork chops
spam
pork "cracklins"
any pork product in general. Who knew the Lemur Queen household kept Kosher?
sauteed beef
liver pudding
boiled peanuts
Goo Goo Clusters
drop biscuits

I have introduced:
pita
hummus
perogi
stuffed grape leaves
chicken paprikash
curry
tastee cakes
the entire line of Morningstar Farms "meat" products (they are, in fact, textured soy product)


Now, CLEARLY my list is superior. Pita and Hummus and Perogis are now our go-to Tuesday/Thursday post workout meals. And yes, I have discovered that pork chops with rosemary are delicious. But seriously? BOILED peanuts? I have never eaten a food and thought, "it's good, but I wish it was more slimy." And liver pudding? UGHHH, don't let ANYONE trick you. It's NOT pudding.

To be fair, Fat Rock has taken one for the team. He gamely tried my Morningstar Farms "sausage" and didn't even gag (mostly). He even lets me eat microwave popcorn for dinner. This is HUGE, it was one of my fears about marriage. "I'll never be able to eat popcorn or cereal for dinner again!" Yeah, I'm a special kind of stupid. I know.

So we are learning, and growing. We keep trying new foods, and with the help of supportive friends and family, I will learn to prepare a meal in more than 3 minutes, and less than 3 hours. Tonight's attempt; chicken pot pie, with biscuits on top. Didn't realize until the first bite that it was a *shiver* casserole. Where's the hummus?

Lemur Queen