Running VICTORY!

That's right. despite my previously reported slowness, I am now a prize winning runner! And not just a finisher's medal, or a door prize. Oh no. An honest to goodness 1st in my age group winner.
But first, a story.
The local runners community is small, and you tend to see the same people over and over. One of these runners is someone Fat Rock and I call "the Poser." She is skinny, and blond, and FAST. She typically runs in those tiny little buns, and a padded sports bra. Her hair is pulled back in a roll, with a plastic flower. Now, you may be thinking "geez Lemur Queen, stalker, much?" Well, she's hard to miss. First, she's FAST. And the fast runners are easy to spot, even before the race. Tanned bodies, buns of steel, very little clothing, fancy shoes, sprinting around as a warm up. Second, and more importantly, she POSES. Thus her name. Due to my aforementioned slowness, I have had limited opportunities to enjoy her posing, but Fat Rock says that once she finishes a race, the Poser selects a high visibility area and, well, poses. Typically with padded sports bra in full display.
At this last race, Fat Rock was standing near the finish with the pup. Apparently, this was the best posing space at this race, and Fat Rock was in the way. After several dirty looks, the Poser found another spot to stand, and began suggestively eating a banana. Let me say that again. Suggestively. Eating. A. Banana. And I missed it. It makes me wish I was faster. Unfortunately, she was gone by the time I dragged my slightly less firm bottom across the finish.
But, on to my VICTORY! This weekend's race was a small one, maybe 75 people? So from the start I liked my odds. But given my track record of mediocrity at races, I tried not to get my hopes up. It was a trail run, which actually worked in my favor. I'm not fast, but I'm steady and tenacious. That's why I like longer races. Still, I was SHOCKED when I checked the finish times, and saw that 1 next to my name. AND I got a prize. Reusable wine bag, Mary Kay "satin hands" and a bottle of Apricot juice. Maybe not impressive to you, but I shall now purchase my wine with PRIDE using my victory bag. And winning made it easier to get on my bike that afternoon for my second workout.
I've got a standing to uphold
Lemur Queen

Am I Goofy?

We are back from our vacation. A complete Disney roundup is on the way, but this will have to hold you until then.

Disney World was wonderful. Perfect weather, not too crowded, etc. etc. It was also the weekend of the Disney Marathon. 45,000 people running through the parks. Half marathon on Saturday, full marathon on Sunday. Half marathon finishers received a Donald Duck medal, full marathoners the Mickey Mouse.

Since it IS Disney World, the races were well organized, fun and friendly. Runners started at 4:50 AM (!) with a firework start. They ran throughout the parks, with a beautiful finish areas in the EPCOT parking lot. Again, since it is Disney World, the runners seemed more along the lines of "family looking for an excuse to vacation and keep working out" as opposed to "Chicken breasted sternum guy, who would only have fun on his cross training day."

All of this combined to encouraged Fat Rock and I to attempt Disney Racing in 2010! Fat Rock is going for the half, and I'm going for the full!! It will be Fat Rock's first half, and my first full marathon! What better place for 13.1 (or 26.2) than Disney World?

But wait? What's that THIRD medal? Is it GOOFY!?!?!? How did those runners get that? Why, the Goofy Challenge, of course. They ran the half on Saturday, and the full on Sunday. Get it? Two races, one weekend! Goofy! HAHAHAHAHA

OK, as you all know, I'm a little competitive (stop laughing) Once I found out about this Goofy Challenge, I HAD to have in. Who cares that I've never ran a marathon before?? I'm 5 feet of pure energy! AND extra bling. It would also give me a chance to hang out and support Fat Rock during the half. He's probably going to run the race at a slower pace than my usual half, so it shouldn't be TOO taxing, right?

So what do you think? Am I goofy?




Lemur Queen

Half-Marathon: 13.1 miles, 2 hours, 30 songs

So today was the day. Half marathon day, my fist one in Coastal NC. It went pretty well. Let me walk you through the adventure via my custom made itunes play list, cleverly named "1/2 marathon."

Mile 0-The start
Whoa, that's a lot of people. They really weren't kidding when they said it was the biggest in the state. National Anthem, cheers, and we are off! I hit play. U2's "Beautiful Day" starts playing. And you know? It WAS a beautiful day. Perfect Carolina blue sky, cheering crowds, surround by thousands of runners. All ages, all sizes, all speeds. And we were all running together. Yeah, I almost teared up.

Mile 1-Wait, the crowd hasn't thinned out?
The excitement of thousands of people rapidly wanes as I continue to Army shuffle over the first bridge. I signed up to RUN! Smashmouth's "All Star" pumps up my energy, and I start ducking and weaving through the crowd. They will probably pass me later, but for now, I need to stretch my legs.

Mile 2- Downtown, watch out for the cobblestones!
Yay! The pack is thinning, and more cheering spectators are on the sidelines. Including my husband!! Hi Fat Rock!! My legs are feeling good, it's early enough in the race that the cobblestones don't trip me up. Gwen Steffani and Moby serenade me with "South Side." It seems appropriate for our trek through downtown. Even if it is a peaceful, quaint downtown, with you know, cobblestones.

Miles 3-5 Water stop #1, and heading to the park
This section is pretty boring. First water stop is dodged. I've got my dorky water bottle pack, and I've only been running 20 minutes or so. Just heading down a side street in an industrial area of town. I attempt to entertain my fellow runners with my singing skills. Jimmy Buffett time! Sadly, "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw" came on near the waterstop. I think I may have inadvertently caused an uncomfortable conversation between a waterstop volunteer and her young son.

Mile 6 Into the Park!
We hit the park. It is BEAUTIFUL! Big lake with cypress trees, Spanish moss hanging from branches, herons and other interesting birds silently watch our progress from the shore. It seems really appropriate that Harry Connick Jr.'s "With Imagination (I'll Get There)" is playing. It's a scene right out of the Deep South.

Mile 7-8 Still in the park?!?
The park is becoming less beautiful. How long is this freaking trail? That's right Billy Joel, "I'm Moving Out." Oh, wait, the park is ending. And what's that? In the distance? Could it be?

Mile 9 Work?
We are running disturbingly close to my workplace. I like to imagine that work ceases to exist on the weekend. Stop screwing with my magical thinking! Ahh, Barenaked Ladies. Now THAT'S good weekend music. "You can be my Yoko Ono" and "Alcohol" carry me through, back to downtown. Hmm, two songs about alcohol. Three if you count "Piano Man." A scary trend or a suggestion on how to cool down after the race?

Mile 10-12 Into the last 5K
Back through downtown, past the abandoned housing project. These are always the toughest miles. Still several miles from the finish, no cheering spectators. You just want to be DONE. The Dave Matthews Band helps me re-center. First with "The Best of What's Around" and then "Ants Marching" helps me pick up the pace. We're crossing the third bridge! Won't be long now.

Mile 13-The finish is in sight
Just a mile to go! Anyone can run a mile. I start trying to pass people, and hope they can't hear my music. It's The Gourds "Gin and Juice," alcohol song #4 and the least family friendly of the lot. The in love with the world feeling that surrounded me at the start has been supplanted by my primal desire to be done running.

13.1 2:20
Two hours and twenty minutes. Not my fastest time, but the chip time should be about 2 minutes faster, thanks to the crowd at the start. I proudly receive my finishers medal from the Marine, in his snazzy dress blues at the finish line.


I'm sore, I'm tired, and as usual, am slightly unhappy with my time. I CAN'T WAIT for the next 1/2 marathon. Hope to see you there!

Lemur Queen

A Fatty's Take on Races

Fat Rock here. As you know, my wife is a runner. I have been to several of her races as a spectator, and once as a competitor. I have a tremendous amount of respect for my wife for doing the "running thing". I cannot. I am not a runner. This was made plain when I ran in the "Dook U. Run for the Lemurs 5k", which was a charity run for the Dook Primate Center. "You'll have a great time," said my fit, in-shape runner girlfriend(at the time), "this is totally a low pressure run, and you'll do great!" Since I was love-struck and stupid, I went for it. It was hot, and there was like 100% humidity and then there were plagues of locusts, and lightening and an earthquake because I had upset the balance of the universe by attempting to jiggle my happy ass for 5 kilometers in under 30 minutes. (Note: 30 mins was the time Lemur Queen said I should shoot for, since it was a "slow easy pace for a beginner") I may have a prejudiced viewpoint, but I digress. I was out of breath by the first hill. Lemur Queen wanted to RUN the whole time, while I could only run when I was going downhill. Long story short, I finished 4th from last. I beat out a massive MASSIVE obese black guy, and a pregnant woman in her third trimester. Oh, and I beat the Lemur Queen, because she was behind me......pushing me forward.



So I never competed in a race again. The only time I run now if to and from the buffet.



Anyways, I do go and support/cheer/hoot like an idiot when my wife races. Why? I enjoy supporting her and her interests. I mean, crap, she has actually agreed to go to DragonCON with me this year. And that's like Nerdapalooza. But at least she'll get an opportunity to freak watch, just like I do at her races. I love me some people watching. When we lived in the Capital City, there was this creepy guy that wore 70's shorty shorts with a mountain scene painted on them. To every race. And he never wore a shirt. To every race. And he was hairy like the love child of Robin Williams and Chewbacca. To every race.



But the races down here are still fun to watch. You have your SERIOUS runners, the ones in all matchy running outfits who are either crazy thin or really muscular, vigorously checking their pulses on their necks while bobbing in place. Then you have runners. Lemur Queen falls in this category. She has running clothes, is in good shape, and runs regularly. Not all matchy-matchy, but clothes that are dedicated to running. Then you have the "runners". You know the ones. My kind of peoples. Team Fatty. Jiggles McBee and his dancing Juggernauts. You know. I don't condemn these people, I applaud them. They're doing their best to improve themselves. They are, however, wearing ripped up sweats and a T-shirt from something completely inappropriate (Big D's Bar-B-Q, for example) or they're wearing a running outfit. Ruining outfits have spandex in them. These are the people you don't want to see in spandex.



There is a fourth category of racer: the oddments. These are the high-school athletes there to try to tear out their knees before they hit 18. There's the guy wearing the USMC Force Recon t-shirt with the baby jogger (the guy finished 3rd overall, by the way. And he started at the back of the pack). And then there's the HOLY CRAP IS THAT LADY RUNNING IN HER BRA AND PANTIES?!?!? Oh wait, those are her running clothes. Not underwear. Oh, and there's the really skinny Asian lady that is like normal width from side to side and then from front to back she's about the length of a pencil. A used pencil. Creepy.



But I see all these people show up, pin numbers on themselves, and do some sort of preening before the race. And I get to see said weirdos soon. This weekend actually. So, if your out at any footraces, looking for a fat guy hooting like an idiot and eating a rack of lamb. That'll be me.



Bring Napkins.



Fat Rock.